Do you know where the traditional education system usually puts a comma in this sentence? That’s right: allow not, forbid.
During all twelve years we teach children to be obedient, polite, to stand in line, to write with the ruler, to go where we say, and to do what they are forced to do. And then – bam! – and at the end of the 12th grade we suddenly tell them: “Well, now you’re an adult – decide everything yourself.” And what about the kids? Turns out – kids have no idea how to do it. They do not know how to listen to themselves, analyze their own needs and desires, compare them with the real world around them. They end up growing into infantile adults who do not seem to know how to simply make decisions and take responsibility for the consequences of these decisions.
Let me tell you a story.
Last year, we were faced with the question: how to solve the problem of using gadgets in a small group of teenagers in our educational process. Allow? Forbid? Allow in part? Where exactly should we put that awkward coma?
To begin with, we, the adults, decided that it was more important for us to teach children to work in a democratic community, to hear each other and us, the adults, as well. That’s why we proposed the idea of a “legislative meeting”, which we got from one of the world’s largest student organizations, AIESEC. At our meeting, everyone had the right to vote: one vote for each of the children and one vote for two adults in the space. The children, respectively, were in the majority.
We took a deep breath, exhaled and decided to jump into full democracy.
So what happened at the end?
During the first month
We used gadgets indefinitely and as often as anyone wanted. As a result, adults remained dissatisfied. We wanted to play during breaks with the children, to hang out, to get to know each other, and the children stayed on their phones all the time. We raised this issue at the legislative meeting. Explained our point of view. Next we proposed to ban gadgets completely. Let me remind you – children have the majority. And children agreed.
During the second month
For several days, gadgets were completely banned in space. Then the kids themselves became dissatisfied. They explained to us that if we completely ban, they “want more and more.” We started looking for a common solution. After long discussions, we reached a compromise: 15 minutes a day of playing together, when everyone is sitting with their phone at the same time. Adults remain the ones who monitor the implementation of the agreements.
This rule worked the longest, for almost almost 4 months.
But adults got tired of being “police”. Controlling teenagers is yet another “pleasure”, and listening to “5 more minutes please!” everyday was not very pleasant. We convened a regular legislative meeting. Our teens listened to us, discussed the issue with us and offered to become “policemen” themselves. As a result, by the end of the school year, there was a rather complex system of electoral positions for police officers, monitoring compliance with the rules and monitoring the consequences of its violation.
September has come.
A new school year and a new range of legislative initiatives have begun.
“Children are adults supposedly by now,” we thought, and offered complete freedom with gadgets, hoping for their consciousness. Alas, this lasted exactly for a month. The other day I held a legislative meeting again, during which two proposals were made:
- Motion by adults: “Gadgets are not prohibited for educational purposes.”
- Motion by children: “Gadgets are allowed to be used during the lunch break (15-20 minutes). If the child receives two comments from the teacher, on this and the next day the child puts the phone in the box and uses it only for educational purposes. The remark is canceled the next day. “
An hour of clear discussions, reasoned remarks, clarifications and finding a compromise.
For the motion of adults there were 4 votes “for” and 6 votes “against”. There were 9 votes in favor and one against for the children’s proposal. As a result, one of the adults supported the kids’ proposal. Amendments to the Code were adopted at the suggestion of children.
Despite the fact that adults have formally “lost”, I feel like winning. Each time our legislatures became more serious and complex.
- The children began to argue their opinions, and where they used to shout out “just because”, now they make constructive arguments.
- Children began to learn to listen to each other and adults in space. They are only now beginning to understand that the essence of the discussion is not in attacks on the opponent, but in the real search for a solution that would satisfy everyone.
- Children begin to make community decisions and agree to take responsibility for the consequences of violating such decisions.
- And most importantly: children do not stand in a dramatic pose of protest, because they know – they will be heard.
Democracy is not just about a beautiful picture of self-government and the ability to elect a school president. Democracy in school is a tool for modeling adulthood and training decision-making skills: sometimes simple and sometimes complex and ambiguous.
Different schools around the world interpret the importance of democracy in the school process differently. The Democratic Summerhill School, which has been in the UK since 1921, allows children to make decisions about the full range of the school’s work, from budget and hiring to lunches and lessons, which they too may choose NOT to attend.
Such a radical ability to “let go” of a child is often too scary and, let’s be realistic, impossible in the realities of regulated licensed education. The new Ukrainian school is very slowly releasing its reins, trying to give more freedom to children, but stumbles upon a strong wall of adults who stubbornly shout “no.”
But we will have to change. If we want our children to be able to make their individual and community decisions on their own, without us, we will have to slowly, gradually, despite our adult ego, still say: